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"Here's your script." "Script for what?" "Your off-the-cuff answers." 16 June, 2003.
"I'll probably go to my holiday home at my private beach and do a bit of sailing in my 50 foot yacht. What will you be doing over Christmas?" "Cursing you." 5 December, 2005.
"Security are suggesting we instal a retina scan to allow me entry into my office." "A brain scan would be a better idea!" 4 March, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Does the Minister want to see the questions I'm going to ask him?' 'No....But YOU might like to see the questions you're going to ask him.' The Dominion Post, 13 July, 2002.
"The number of people on the hospital waiting list has been drastically reduced!" "Where have they gone?" "They're on the waiting list for the waiting list." 14 March, 2003.
"Your Minister's cell phone bill is way higher than the other Ministers!" "He conducts most of his business in the field... or to be more precise - the fairway." 14 January, 2006.
"Which frequency do you think we should choose to broadcast parliament on?" "One only dogs can hear!" 24 January, 2003.
"These are the new regulations designed to get dirty vehicles off our roads. You look worried - what did you come to work in?" "A cloud of smoke." 22 September, 2003.
"Yes, Prime Minister. I'm sure I can handle the portfolio with tact and diplomacy." "I've been made Minister of Johnnie Foreigners." 19 October, 2005.
Steve Maharey. 11 November, 2005.
"The party conference was a disaster!" "Why do you say that?" "We didn't get any time to go skiing!!!" 14 July, 2003.
"Has the government come out in favour of GM-Free?" "Almost. We've decided to Free-GM. 14 February, 2003.
"Perhaps you should think about having some 'body tailoring' plastic surgery." "Forget it! I don't do pain...And I certainly don't do expensive pain!" 11 November, 2005.
"According to these calculations the amount of funding I claimed for staffing is completely fair. I used the Duckworth-Lewis system." 6 March, 2003.
"I am not in favour of censorship of the press! And if anyone says otherwise... I forbid you to print it!" 19 August, 2003.
"How goes the Minister's meeting with Treasury?" "He said their call for tax cuts was an idealogical burp ......And he sneezed at the idea." 18 November, 2005.
"George Hawkins!! So that's where you spent the election?" 28 September, 2005.
"War, SARS, a high dollar - things aren't looking good!" "For the economy?" "For my Easter holidays!" 5 April, 2003.
"We need to reduce the size of government bureaucracy." "I'll get right on to it. We'll need to create a new government department to organise it all." 21 November, 2005.
"I'm thinking of reintroducing my work-for-the dole scheme. These people should be usefully employed in community projects!" "You mean your garden needs weeding again?" 15 March, 2003.
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