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Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The number of obese people has risen sharply!' 'Do we know what's caused it?' 'Christmas.' Dominion Post, 31 December 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Auckland's crime rate has shot up!' 'That cannot be tolerated!....We're the capital, we should have the highest crime rate!' The Dominion Post, 2 September, 2002.
Fletcher, David 1952- :'Are there any statistics to back up this claim that strikes are on the increase?' 'No... Our Statistics Department is out on strike.' 28 January 2002
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The Police Chief is here with the latest car theft figures. He's waiting for you in the street.' 'Why can't he come up?' 'He doesn't want to leave his car unattended.' The Dominion Post, 31 August 2002.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The staff levels in your department have risen by 10%! Why is that?' 'I've no idea... I'll get my third assistant's, assistant's, assistant to look into it.' Dominion Post, 30 December 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The statistics department wants an increase in funding.' 'Okay.' 'Aren't you going to ask me why they need an increase?' ' Heck no! They'd send me screeds of information.' Dominion Post 22 May 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Unemployment figures are down!' 'Have they just moved over to the sickness benefit?' 'No!... However, the number of people on the new 'sick of work' benefit has shot up.' Dominion Post, 16 April 2005.
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