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"The public don't care when the election date is? Aahh.. Well.. Sorry but EVERY DAY I see someone who's DESPERATE to know the date....." 14 July, 2005
Deep in the wilderness, the male Kakapo hollows out a courtship bowl and begins to boom in the forlorn hope of attracting a mate! "COALITION! COALITION!" 2 September, 2005
DING! DING! "She really leads from the left! Left jabs, left a few forgotten billion under the bed and left the cops to take the blame!" 23 August, 2005
Sharks swarm up north..."Time for a feeding frenzy!" 28 January, 2005
"Hit anyone yet, Bill?" Sunday News, 17 July 2002
"They're getting away on us Michael! What do we doooo?" "Hoist another BRIBE of course!" 7 September, 2005
"Bolger might be our mate, but the Bank is still a dog" - Bill English. The Dominion, 6 September 2001
"King of the pool!" 16 December, 2005
Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :'Y'know boy...I can remember when Bolger and Peters were deadly enemies!!' Christchurch Press, 14 February 1997.
"Not again! Flamin' baggage carrying bludgers!" Election '05. Past. Failed. Promises. 15 April, 2005
HEALTH THREAT TO YOUNG & ELDERLY. ELECTIONEERING DISEASE IS ON THE LOOSE. Passed on by too much Granny hugging and baby kissing. COMING SOON TO AN AREA NEAR YOU! Kissy Kissy. 27 July, 2005
Cappuccino Dreams. 'HURRY! We must get across THE PLAIN OF MEDIOCRITY & reach THE GATED COMMUNITY OF INSOUCIANCE before we are overtaken by THE WAVE OF MILD NAUSEA!' 20 February, 2007
"Who cares if they're inexperienced! They still scream and kick and vomit like the last lot!" NEW NATIONAL MPs. 24 July, 2004
"Believe me... It's easier where you are!" 26 June, 2004
One Vision Clinic. "They'll make you short-sighted and you'll need to carry a big stick!" "I'll take 'em" 5 February, 2005
Government road code... 11 August, 2005
OPTICIAN. "Can't tell whether they make me long-sighted or short-sighted!" "Or that you're just making a spectacle of yourself!" 18 May, 2004
"So Mr Clarkson... How do you respond to accusations that you have a fascination with your testicles?" "BOLLOCKS!" 16 September, 2005
"All that power potential yet there's always something standing in the way!" "It's a sad day for Project Aqua!" "I ain't talking about Project Aqua!" 3 April, 2004
"Desperate Beehives!" THE SOAP THAT'S SWEEPING THE WHOLE COUNTRY BY SNOWSTORM! Lust. Deceit. Bed-hopping. Polygamy. Extra-martial dalliance. Bad acting and like all soaps, full of nerdy characters... 22 September, 2005
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