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Why New Zealand gets few gold medals. "Good work Trevor! That's three... Just another 10,000 and the funding's your's." "Take it easy Michael, I think we're safe for another four years." 28 March, 2006.
"Helen, the Nigerians are filing an intellectual property claim against us." "On what grounds?" "They say they invented financial scamming and they're livid about the carbon credit thing!" 9 May, 2008
"I don't know why they call New Zealand a 'Nanny' state!?" "Follow us... We know best! Baa!" 9 May, 2008
The fiddle section. 15 September, 2005.
"Michael? Helen here. I want the economy to have a soft landing. Is that clear?" 13 February, 2006.
"Excuse me, Helen - can I help?" Financial crisis. 20 October, 2008.
"Honestly Michael, why would folk trust Key and English to turn this around?" 3 November, 2008.
"Don't worry... it will only be a 'technical' recession!" "What does that mean?" "It means technically... we're about to get shafted!" "Well, I hope you're pleased with yourself! Not only have you jeopardized the Olympics but you've also put our free trade deal at risk!" 20 March, 2008
Monetary mayhem. "We're not blaming you for the downturn in the weather." "We just wish you'd used the fine spell to create a bit of shelter!" 21 February, 2008
"Where it says 'When will you return to New Zealand?' you're meant to put a date... Not 'When Clark and Cullen have had the bum's rush'." 10 February, 2008
"This'll do for the budget & we'll get you a new outfit for the election." 10 March, 2008
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