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"Our maintenance people are doing a very thorough check..." "They're passengers." 15 August, 2008

"Our maintenance people are doing a very thorough check..." "They're passengers." 15 August, 2008

News. Air New Zealand passengers were told their pilots hadn't eaten but would order takeaways to avoid delaying departure too much." 25 July, 2007

News. Air New Zealand passengers were told their pilots hadn't eaten but would order takeaways to avoid delaying departure too much." 25 July, 2007

Proposed law requires employers to provide breast-feeding spaces for working mothers...News. "I'm the pilot." 25 March, 2008

Proposed law requires employers to provide breast-feeding spaces for working mothers...News. "I'm the pilot." 25 March, 2008

"Oh brilliant! Now it'll be bloody impossible to work out what they're saying." ca 8 April, 2003

"Oh brilliant! Now it'll be bloody impossible to work out what they're saying." ca 8 April, 2003

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :News. A Boeing 757 was out of action for 9 days after a pit bull escaped in the cargo hold & ate important bits. New Zealand Shipping Gazette, 24 August 2002.

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :News. A Boeing 757 was out of action for 9 days after a pit bull escaped in the cargo hold & ate important bits. New Zealand Shipping Gazette, 24 August 2002.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'We've got parents with two barefoot infants out there, and a blonde supermodel in nothing but a g-string. What's the drill?' 'Bump the kids, tell the super model I'll be out soon to personally buckle her in.' Dominion Post, 3 September 2004.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'We've got parents with two barefoot infants out there, and a blonde supermodel in nothing but a g-string. What's the drill?' 'Bump the kids, tell the super model I'll be out soon to personally buckle her in.' Dominion Post, 3 September 2004.

Slane, Christopher, 1957- :Kamakaze Key. 22 November 2013

Slane, Christopher, 1957- :Kamakaze Key. 22 November 2013

Evans, Malcolm, 1945- :Viagra jumbo pack. New Zealand Herald, 14 March, 2003.

Evans, Malcolm, 1945- :Viagra jumbo pack. New Zealand Herald, 14 March, 2003.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will be touching down in 9 months. Thanks for flying Labour." 19 November, 2007

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will be touching down in 9 months. Thanks for flying Labour." 19 November, 2007

"Yes, it was the same flight school that taught Paul Holmes" 11 June 2006

"Yes, it was the same flight school that taught Paul Holmes" 11 June 2006

Air NZ to drug test staff under special circumstances... "Er... Does this constitute a special circumstance?" 22 April, 2004

Air NZ to drug test staff under special circumstances... "Er... Does this constitute a special circumstance?" 22 April, 2004

Increased monitoring for commercial pilots with drug and alcohol issues - News. 14 April 2010

Increased monitoring for commercial pilots with drug and alcohol issues - News. 14 April 2010

Pilots to be random tested for alcohol... "Better pull over... If it's not UFOs, we've gone through a breath-test checkpoint!" 15 April 2010

Pilots to be random tested for alcohol... "Better pull over... If it's not UFOs, we've gone through a breath-test checkpoint!" 15 April 2010

'Airline pilots may get more protection from passengers'. "Lucky old airline pilots!" 6 March, 2008

'Airline pilots may get more protection from passengers'. "Lucky old airline pilots!" 6 March, 2008

Air New Zealand planes to be fitted with security cameras so that pilots can view the cabin - News. "This is your captain speaking to the bloke in seat 12B, you didn't eat all your fish." 17 July, 2007

Air New Zealand planes to be fitted with security cameras so that pilots can view the cabin - News. "This is your captain speaking to the bloke in seat 12B, you didn't eat all your fish." 17 July, 2007

Richard Pearse. 2 January 2009.

Richard Pearse. 2 January 2009.

"Wow! Retiring MPs off on a vital fact-finding mission. Where are you going?" "Who cares? Somewhere warm I hope..." "Surprise us..." 14 March, 2008

"Wow! Retiring MPs off on a vital fact-finding mission. Where are you going?" "Who cares? Somewhere warm I hope..." "Surprise us..." 14 March, 2008

"Sorry for the delay, folks, we're still waiting for the captain..." "What about you, Sir? Can YOU fly?" "I TOLD you these budget airlines were having a hard time hiring skilled pilots." 2 November, 2007

"Sorry for the delay, folks, we're still waiting for the captain..." "What about you, Sir? Can YOU fly?" "I TOLD you these budget airlines were having a hard time hiring skilled pilots." 2 November, 2007

Nisbet, Al, 1958- :'Thank God! I thought it was another piece of wing!' Christchurch Press, ca. 17 September, 2002.

Nisbet, Al, 1958- :'Thank God! I thought it was another piece of wing!' Christchurch Press, ca. 17 September, 2002.

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :'So the doors are just cheese wrapped in plastic?' 'Yep, same stuff we gave passengers back in the 80's - absolutely impenetrable!!' 20 June 2002.

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :'So the doors are just cheese wrapped in plastic?' 'Yep, same stuff we gave passengers back in the 80's - absolutely impenetrable!!' 20 June 2002.