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"I hope people don't think we have anything in common" "Perish the thought" 17 September 2006

"I hope people don't think we have anything in common" "Perish the thought" 17 September 2006

"Can you make it look like a short back and sides without actually cutting anything?" 8 March, 2006

"Can you make it look like a short back and sides without actually cutting anything?" 8 March, 2006

"Mallard here! We're banning Fijian sports teams because we believe their right to democracy is more important than just playing games! But we've exempted their rugby sevens because we think the IRB sevens would just go to Aussie anyway! Which might upset a few of our voters - and that's a game we're not prepared to play!.. There's a limit to how principled one can be in an emergency!!. Y'know what I mean?" 10 December, 2006

"Mallard here! We're banning Fijian sports teams because we believe their right to democracy is more important than just playing games! But we've exempted their rugby sevens because we think the IRB sevens would just go to Aussie anyway! Which might upset a few of our voters - and that's a game we're not prepared to play!.. There's a limit to how principled one can be in an emergency!!. Y'know what I mean?" 10 December, 2006

'Festive greetings from the Beehive...& your beloved leader'. 19 December, 2007

'Festive greetings from the Beehive...& your beloved leader'. 19 December, 2007

Webb, Murray, 1947- :Trevor Mallard. Right! Now bugger off! [ca 16 February 2004]

Webb, Murray, 1947- :Trevor Mallard. Right! Now bugger off! [ca 16 February 2004]

Stadium alternatives. The potty, the lifebuoy, the dead duck, the gurgler, the bouncy castle, the Mallard Stand. 15 November, 2006

Stadium alternatives. The potty, the lifebuoy, the dead duck, the gurgler, the bouncy castle, the Mallard Stand. 15 November, 2006

Heartland High. "My ideal school will have a much improved student, teacher ratio... NO KIDS and NO TEACHERS!" 14 February, 2004

Heartland High. "My ideal school will have a much improved student, teacher ratio... NO KIDS and NO TEACHERS!" 14 February, 2004

"Teachers are angry you did not consult them over the NCEA!" "It was hard to find a teacher at school at the time!" ca 27 August 2002.

"Teachers are angry you did not consult them over the NCEA!" "It was hard to find a teacher at school at the time!" ca 27 August 2002.

"Mallard's said he's keen on making cuts." "Apparently!" 23 June, 2007

"Mallard's said he's keen on making cuts." "Apparently!" 23 June, 2007

"Aw heck, sorry Tau, there's just something about you that reminds me of John Banks." 26 October, 2007.

"Aw heck, sorry Tau, there's just something about you that reminds me of John Banks." 26 October, 2007.

Benson-Pope & Mallard Ltd. The Labour Savers. 'Leave your dirty laundry with us'. 14 September, 2006.

Benson-Pope & Mallard Ltd. The Labour Savers. 'Leave your dirty laundry with us'. 14 September, 2006.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Typical! As soon as an election campaign starts people think they can hold us to ransom and demand a pay increase!!!' 'Why are you holding out your hand?' The Dominion, 20 June 2002.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Typical! As soon as an election campaign starts people think they can hold us to ransom and demand a pay increase!!!' 'Why are you holding out your hand?' The Dominion, 20 June 2002.

Brockie, Robert Ellison 1932-:NZ Ratifies Kyoto emissions protocols. National Business Review, 13 December 2001.

Brockie, Robert Ellison 1932-:NZ Ratifies Kyoto emissions protocols. National Business Review, 13 December 2001.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I'm taking ART lessons. This is my version of 'THE SCREAM'.' 'Who was the model?' 'Trevor Mallard when he heard we'd lost the World Cup co-hosting rights.' The Dominion, 20 April 2002.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I'm taking ART lessons. This is my version of 'THE SCREAM'.' 'Who was the model?' 'Trevor Mallard when he heard we'd lost the World Cup co-hosting rights.' The Dominion, 20 April 2002.

"The trouble with Kiwi athletes and sports people is they lack the killer instinct..." BOOM! BOOM! "I beg to differ..." 4 April, 2006.

"The trouble with Kiwi athletes and sports people is they lack the killer instinct..." BOOM! BOOM! "I beg to differ..." 4 April, 2006.

Hawkey, Allan Charles, 1941- : Would love to tidy up but I need all my energy for school these days.. Waikato Times, 6 October 2004.

Hawkey, Allan Charles, 1941- : Would love to tidy up but I need all my energy for school these days.. Waikato Times, 6 October 2004.

"See? I told you an enraged Trevor Mallard would be too scary for some people!"26 October, 2007

"See? I told you an enraged Trevor Mallard would be too scary for some people!"26 October, 2007

[Gunfighters, col. blue & taser] 21 September, 2006

[Gunfighters, col. blue & taser] 21 September, 2006

Webb, Murray 1947-:Trevor Mallard (circa 1997-1999).

Webb, Murray 1947-:Trevor Mallard (circa 1997-1999).

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :'I take it the kids were rostered home today dear?' 19 July, 2002.

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :'I take it the kids were rostered home today dear?' 19 July, 2002.