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"I'm sure the Minister won't be making any more gaffes." "How can you be so sure?" "He's run out of feet to put in his mouth." 12 April, 2003.
"...AND THE SAME TO YOU WITH KNOBS ON!!! I wish someone would invent a cellphone you can slam down!" 25 January, 2002.
"Incompetent!" "That is a charge that I completely and utterly resemble!" 20? June, 2003
"The Minister's very busy at the moment but he might be able to see you for a few minutes......During the drinks break." 11 January, 2003.
"Here's your script." "Script for what?" "Your off-the-cuff answers." 16 June, 2003.
"The media are demanding to know if you lied to them!" "Ministers do not do that kind of thing! Tell them I'm in a meeting." 31 July, 2003.
"What's your advice to people concerned about the spread of SARS, Minister?" "There's nothing to worry about." 7 April, 2003.
"Has all this talk of wafer-thin majorities had any effect on you?" "Yes. It's made me feel hungry!" 10 October, 2003.
"I need a creative person!" "To do what?" "My accounts." 10 March, 2003.
"As Small Business Minister you'll be dealing with these companies." "Well, what do you know! They're the same companies I dealt with when I was Big Business Minister!" 8 July, 2003.
Webb, Murray :Phil Goff. [ca 27 August 2003].
"Security are suggesting we instal a retina scan to allow me entry into my office." "A brain scan would be a better idea!" 4 March, 2003.
"The Minister once offered to pay for me to have a stapling operation." "Stomach?" "Mouth." 15 January, 2003.
"Is your party leader concerned about all this talk of a leadership coup?" "Absolutely not!" "So where is he?" "In his bunker." 4 April, 2003.
"People are criticising our biosecurity systems for letting too many insects into the country. How should we deal with these annoying little pests?" "Which particular little pests are you talking about?" "The ones criticising us." 28 March, 2003.
"Be careful of any mail that's unusual or out of the ordinary!" "This one says NICE things about you!" 11 March, 2003.
"I had hoped that telling a few home truths about the party would make me a hero!" "It's made you the next best thing... a martyr." 15 July, 2003.
"The media concentrates too much on my appearance and not enough on my policies!" "With the policies you've been coming out with you should be grateful. 4 July, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I'm going to pour money into our national game! It'll take peoples' minds off their main worry.' 'Which is?' 'Irresponsible government spending.' The Dominion Post, 25 November, 2003.
"Good news! We've levelled off in the polls." "What are we on now?" "0%" 3 June, 2003.
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