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"The Minister's very busy at the moment but he might be able to see you for a few minutes......During the drinks break." 11 January, 2003.
"Here's your script." "Script for what?" "Your off-the-cuff answers." 16 June, 2003.
"The number of people on the hospital waiting list has been drastically reduced!" "Where have they gone?" "They're on the waiting list for the waiting list." 14 March, 2003.
"Which frequency do you think we should choose to broadcast parliament on?" "One only dogs can hear!" 24 January, 2003.
"These are the new regulations designed to get dirty vehicles off our roads. You look worried - what did you come to work in?" "A cloud of smoke." 22 September, 2003.
"A reporter wants to know if the economic recovery is due to good luck rather than good management. Shall I send her in?" "Hide my horseshoe collection first." 1 January, 2003.
"The party conference was a disaster!" "Why do you say that?" "We didn't get any time to go skiing!!!" 14 July, 2003.
"Has the government come out in favour of GM-Free?" "Almost. We've decided to Free-GM. 14 February, 2003.
"According to these calculations the amount of funding I claimed for staffing is completely fair. I used the Duckworth-Lewis system." 6 March, 2003.
"Isn't it amazing how the work piles up while you're away!" "It's going to take me at least two trips to carry it over to your desk!" 7 January, 2003.
"I am not in favour of censorship of the press! And if anyone says otherwise... I forbid you to print it!" 19 August, 2003.
"War, SARS, a high dollar - things aren't looking good!" "For the economy?" "For my Easter holidays!" 5 April, 2003.
"I'm thinking of reintroducing my work-for-the dole scheme. These people should be usefully employed in community projects!" "You mean your garden needs weeding again?" 15 March, 2003.
"I know what you peace-keepers are going through. I experienced heat, noise and steam in my army days!" "You were in the jungle?" "No the Catering Corps." 2 August, 2003.
"Are all our peacekeepers busy overseas at the moment?" "Yes." "Pity. We could do with a couple in Caucus!" 17 March, 2003.
"The media have found out that you abused a taxi driver. You need to work on your self-control." "I will promise! Just as soon as I've abused the media!!!" 1 August, 2003.
"These are all letters of support." "What's this pile?" "Rubbish." 20 February, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'That scientist you turned down for a research grant has come up with a new study.' 'What does he want to find out this time?' 'What makes ministers so tight-fisted.' The Dominion Post, 28 November, 2003.
"Did you talk to Sky executives about televising select committee meetings?" "Yes." "And?" "They managed to hide their excitement really well." 14 June, 2003.
"What level of terrorist alert are we on at the moment?" "Baghdad Blue" "I still think it was a waste of money getting an interior designer to choose the colours!" 1 March, 2003.
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