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Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I know the Ministry of Education's predictions of class numbers have been wrong in the past... But that problem has been sorted out... I just do the opposite of whatever they recommend.' Dominion Post, 16 December 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The minister wants you to organise a whirlwind electioneering tour of the country.' 'What does he mean by whirlwind?' 'Surrounded by spin.' Dominion Post, 7 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'We could reach the young voter by texting them!... Vote 4 us again.' 'They won't understand that, it's got too many vowels!' Dominion Post, 27 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'What do I have to get through today?' 'It's a pretty heavy load I'm afraid.' 'Four swimming heats, equestrian, weight lifting and rowing.' The Dominion Post, 14 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'My party proposes government by referendum!' 'Is that what the people want?' 'I don't know. I haven't asked them.' The Dominion Post, 29 November, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I sometimes wonder if people take these preferred Prime Minister polls seriously!' 'You're just saying that because Spongebob Squarepants got more votes than you.' Dominion Post, 28 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'You've had a great deal of criticism over these job-creation schemes you've been funding...have they created any jobs?' 'I've had to employ several more spin doctors!' The Dominion Post, 13 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Rising oil prices are not swelling the government's coffers!... Keep spending it as fast as you can.' Dominion Post, 20 October 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Do you think the PM's motorcade travels too fast?' 'I'd rather not comment' 'You're travelling in it today.' 'Pass me my crash helmet.' The Dominion Post, 22 July 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The media were predicting a one-issue speech... Boy, did I prove them wrong!!!' 'Yeah, they got a no-issue speech. Dominion Post, 26 January 2005.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'We want to encourage people to retire later than the age of 65... Hence our "work 'till you drop" campaign.' Dominion Post, 27 February 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The teacher shortage will not be a problem- we have put measures in place to make up for the shortfall.' 'What measures are those?' 'I can't explain now. We've both got classes to take.' Dominion Post, 23 January 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'We've been told our taxpayer-funded public information/propaganga package is too expensive. We have to cut costs!' 'It was worth a try!... Cut out the informative bits.' Dominion Post, 4 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I told the PM the bad news - that I'm thinking of retiring at the next election.' 'And she hit you in the eye?!!!' 'No, the champagne cork did.' The Dominion Post, 16 July 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'This isn't what I asked for! I wanted changes in the employment bill to make it easier to sack new employees. This makes it harder!... Who did you get to do this?' 'The new employee.' Dominion Post, 15 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Your speeches in the House are lacking passion! Find as issue you feel strongly about and let's see some fire in your belly!' 'Yes, Prime Minister.' 'When's that debate on increasing MPs salaries coming up?' The Dominion Post, 26 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'If I became Prime Minister I would reduce the number of MP's in parliament!' 'By how many?' 'How many are on that list of politicians I don't like? The Dominion Post, 14 November, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'A high ranking Govt official is warning of civil war!' 'No one in their right mind would take that sort of talk seriously.' 'Where's the Minister?' 'Beefing up the armed forces.' The Dominion Post, 4 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'My department's found occupations for thousands of unemployed people - and this is all the thanks I get!' 'Malingering isn't an occupation.' The Dominion Post, 28 July 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Our proud to be red-blooded males' stance has struck a chord with men everywhere. We should celebrate!' 'Yeah!' 'What sort of things do red-blodded males do?' 'I've no idea.' The Dominion Post, 3 August 2004.
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