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"Having reviewed the evidence thoroughly. As headmasters, we agree no pupil from either school started the brawl..." "That's right, it started spontaneously..." 27 September, 2008

"Having reviewed the evidence thoroughly. As headmasters, we agree no pupil from either school started the brawl..." "That's right, it started spontaneously..." 27 September, 2008

"Africa's strong men don't need any more gold taps or blonde hookers..." "With respect, I am best placed to make that sort of decision..." 14 July 2009

"Africa's strong men don't need any more gold taps or blonde hookers..." "With respect, I am best placed to make that sort of decision..." 14 July 2009

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'I'd like to thank my parents, my coach, and my chemist for the undetectable performance enhancing drugs...' The Dominion Post, 17 August 2004.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'I'd like to thank my parents, my coach, and my chemist for the undetectable performance enhancing drugs...' The Dominion Post, 17 August 2004.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :"Most dangerous prisoner here at Guantanamo. It's kept under lock and key and never allowed to see the light of day... Otago Daily Times, 17 June 2005.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :"Most dangerous prisoner here at Guantanamo. It's kept under lock and key and never allowed to see the light of day... Otago Daily Times, 17 June 2005.

"In Switzerland we are thinking of extending animal rights to include legal representation in our courts..." "Keep your voice down, son. Big ears are flapping over here..." 2 February 2010

"In Switzerland we are thinking of extending animal rights to include legal representation in our courts..." "Keep your voice down, son. Big ears are flapping over here..." 2 February 2010

[Dove with olive branch]. 20 December, 2006

[Dove with olive branch]. 20 December, 2006

"In retaliation for our capturing one of their soldiers, the Israelis have bombed our power stations, water treatment plants, food stores and your HQ, sir..." "What happened to an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?" 4 July, 2006

"In retaliation for our capturing one of their soldiers, the Israelis have bombed our power stations, water treatment plants, food stores and your HQ, sir..." "What happened to an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?" 4 July, 2006

"Mr Hubbard, on reflection, do you think SFC [sic SCF] could have modernised it's accounting and banking procedures?" "I'll have you know young man, that mattress is almost new..." 1 September 2010

"Mr Hubbard, on reflection, do you think SFC [sic SCF] could have modernised it's accounting and banking procedures?" "I'll have you know young man, that mattress is almost new..." 1 September 2010

"We're so angry about your backflip on ownership of the Ureweras this could result in divorce..." "Tariana's a great kidder. We've never been happier ..." 13 May 2010

"We're so angry about your backflip on ownership of the Ureweras this could result in divorce..." "Tariana's a great kidder. We've never been happier ..." 13 May 2010

"No one is going to stop me using my cellphone in my own car... Who am I kidding, I can't afford to drive it anyway..." 15 March, 2008

"No one is going to stop me using my cellphone in my own car... Who am I kidding, I can't afford to drive it anyway..." 15 March, 2008

"Phil Goff has dropped the ball on this. The Labour Party is screaming out for people with sex drive..." "Especially a heterosexual sex drive..." "Yeah. A win win situation I would have thought..." 15 June 2010

"Phil Goff has dropped the ball on this. The Labour Party is screaming out for people with sex drive..." "Especially a heterosexual sex drive..." "Yeah. A win win situation I would have thought..." 15 June 2010

High Court overturns Medical Laboratory contract - News. "I'm no diagnostician, but something smells fishy..." 23 March, 2007

High Court overturns Medical Laboratory contract - News. "I'm no diagnostician, but something smells fishy..." 23 March, 2007

"We were warned there were too many turbines." 21 February 2009.

"We were warned there were too many turbines." 21 February 2009.

"Iran is only interested in nuclear energy for peaceful purposes. We are considering a uranium enrichment swap with the west... We give them our low grade ore, and they give us weapons grade fuel ..." 3 March 2010

"Iran is only interested in nuclear energy for peaceful purposes. We are considering a uranium enrichment swap with the west... We give them our low grade ore, and they give us weapons grade fuel ..." 3 March 2010

"Bishop Tamaki? Phil Goff from Labour... What?.. I wouldn't say we are overrun with gays, but we have a few... It's not a bad line, I'm whispering, Brian. Can I call you Brian?.. Ok, Bishop, I have a question for you about this oath of blind loyalty and total obediance to your leadership of Destiny Church... How did you swing that?" 30 October 2009

"Bishop Tamaki? Phil Goff from Labour... What?.. I wouldn't say we are overrun with gays, but we have a few... It's not a bad line, I'm whispering, Brian. Can I call you Brian?.. Ok, Bishop, I have a question for you about this oath of blind loyalty and total obediance to your leadership of Destiny Church... How did you swing that?" 30 October 2009

"Tax cuts, Australia! Tax cuts! After all, it's your money!" "Take no notice, NZ, he's been in the sun..." 19 October, 2007

"Tax cuts, Australia! Tax cuts! After all, it's your money!" "Take no notice, NZ, he's been in the sun..." 19 October, 2007

"We're collecting signatures for a petition to get rid of the mayor, Michael Laws, and to ask if your cannabis and 'P' needs are being met..." 27 March, 2006.

"We're collecting signatures for a petition to get rid of the mayor, Michael Laws, and to ask if your cannabis and 'P' needs are being met..." 27 March, 2006.

"In a darkened room, right in front of me, sweat glistening on their scantily clad bodies, the leggy Russian blond and the muscular Afro-American tried to dominate each other...." "We all caught the Ozzie Women's Final, Neil..." 29 January, 2007

"In a darkened room, right in front of me, sweat glistening on their scantily clad bodies, the leggy Russian blond and the muscular Afro-American tried to dominate each other...." "We all caught the Ozzie Women's Final, Neil..." 29 January, 2007

"I'm sorry about the fleet cuts, but could you find another spot?" 18 June 2009

"I'm sorry about the fleet cuts, but could you find another spot?" 18 June 2009

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'We think the golden egg will pull through, father, but mum might have cooked her goose...' Dominion Post, 13 September 2004.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'We think the golden egg will pull through, father, but mum might have cooked her goose...' Dominion Post, 13 September 2004.