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Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Did you complain about the excessive work-load in this survey of public servants?' 'No....I COULDN'T FIND THE TIME TO FILL IN THE SURVEY!!!' The Dominion, 1 May 2002.
"The PM says you're indecisive. Do you think that's true? You're not sure, are you?" 9 April, 2003.
"The media are demanding to know if you lied to them!" "Ministers do not do that kind of thing! Tell them I'm in a meeting." 31 July, 2003.
"We're not allowed to do anything any more, we've turned into a nanny state!!" "Don't shout. You might damage your vocal cords." 18 January, 2006.
"Could you pass me my gardening gloves? The Minister wants the dirt file on opposition MPs". 17 March, 2006.
"When can we expect to see more police on our streets?" "Soon. Their patrol cars are starting to disintegrate." 15 November, 2005.
"What's your advice to people concerned about the spread of SARS, Minister?" "There's nothing to worry about." 7 April, 2003.
"Do you realise that as we speak, many of the population are living in substandard conditions?" "I take it you don't like summer camping holidays." 26 December, 2005.
"Is your party leader concerned about all this talk of a leadership coup?" "Absolutely not!" "So where is he?" "In his bunker." 4 April, 2003.
"The only reason we're putting more speed cameras on the roads is to save lives!!! We'll put all that lovely extra revenue into the health service!" 9 September, 2003.
"Are you striving for 100% employment?" "No." "Why not?" "Then I'D be out of a job." 13 August, 2003.
"The government's sneaking through too many new taxes." "What are they taxing now?" "The public's patience." 30 June, 2003.
"Everyone should learn a second language." "You're not fluent in a second language!" "YES I AM!" "Gobbledegook doesn't count." 18 June, 2003.
"When will they stop digging up allegations from my past?" "Good news! These allegations are quite recent." 28 February, 2006.
"I tried to phone up all the school principals to find out how bad their funding crisis really is...They were all out manning coconut shies." 3 November, 2005.
"Showing your support for Team New Zealand?" "Trying to convince our party leader." 15 February, 2003.
"We need more low-cost housing for homeless people." "There isn't such a thing any more! They DON'T EXIST!!!" "Homeless people?" "Low-cost housing." 17 September, 2003.
"Will the Minister be attending our Dawn Service?" "He's not very good at getting up in the mornings... Do you have a Brunch Service?" 5 February, 2003.
Fletcher, David 1952-: 'I hope the Minister isn't going to lower himself to using gutter politics!' 'For him gutter politics would be a step-UP.' The Dominion, 7 February 2002.
"The actions of this government will create more jobs! We'll need an extra two thousand police to combat the rioting." 30 July, 2003.
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