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Members of Parliament
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"I know what you peace-keepers are going through. I experienced heat, noise and steam in my army days!" "You were in the jungle?" "No the Catering Corps." 2 August, 2003.
"Am I on the PM's economic dream team?" "No. You are on his nightmare one." 27 November, 2008.
"Have you seen the size of the bonuses these banking executives are giving themselves? And there's not a thing I can do about it! I'm to old to to start a career in banking" 19 March, 2009
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Government rules say you have to return the iPod that company gave as a gift.' 'Do you have a crowbar on you?... I'll need something to prise it out of my son's hand.' Dominion Post, 28 December 2004.
"This report on ET's will cause widespread public panic!!!" "Extra terrestrials?!!" "Emission trading schemes." 5 August 2009
"You can offer tax payers what tax breaks you like when you know you are going to lose the election!" "Yeah." "Double whatever the opposition are offering." 18 October, 2007
"I have to do a face-to-face interview on the TV! Do you think a paralysing botox job would make me seem more convincing?" "Only if you had it in your mouth." 9 May, 2003.
"The Foreign Minister says he's starting to feel the heat! Yes he's sunbathing at a conference in the Mediterranean." 26 November, 2005.
"Did you suggest publicly that the country goes nuclear?" "Yes, why?" "The Prime Minister has just gone nuclear." 27 July 2009
"And to all those people who voted for me, I will keep my election promise to them!" 20 September, 2005.
"The opposition are going to put a stop to your copycat politics." "How?" "They're going to nobble your xerox machine." 22 April, 2008
"Do the new ministerial cars meet energy efficiency targets?" "Yes. But only if I don't turn the engine on." 21 December, 2007
"People are being trapped in a poverty cycle. They're calling it the poverty spin." "How are you going to deal with it?" "With government spin." 5 May, 2008
"Are all our peacekeepers busy overseas at the moment?" "Yes." "Pity. We could do with a couple in Caucus!" 17 March, 2003.
"We MPs need more office space!" "Why do you need more space?" "Our egos are bigger." 6 October, 2008
Fletcher, David, 1952- :Criminals will no longer be able to sell their ill gotten gains to pawnbrokers! Have you seen today's paper? Forty-two pages of garage sales. The Dominion Post, 3 July 2004.
"Have the investigators found out who leaked those cabinet papers?!!" "Not yet, they made everyone swear under oath that they didn't do it. Now they're waiting to see who gets struck by a thunderbolt." 8 October 2010
"That was the Minister moaning about the department's high cellphone bill. So I cut him off to save money." 9 January, 2007
"The PM wants you to go back to the grassroots level." "What does that mean exactly?" "She thinks you should be buried in the ground." 21 January, 2008
"Yes Minister. There are no problems here, everything is running smoothly... It's safe for you to come back to the office for a few days." 28 December, 2005.
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