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"It's time for you to go out there and show your leadership qualities!" "You're right! You go first." 21 November, 2002.
"This report may require some censoring. It deals with the corruption and inefficiency in your department." "Hand me my 300mm wide felt tip pen." 17 October, 2003.
"I won't accept these 'rats and mice' portfolios!!!" "That's a bit harsh isn't it? - What were you offered?" "Spokesman for Pest Control." August - September, 2001.
"Remember, when dealing with the media the best form of defense is attack!" "How did your interview with the Minister go?" 18 November, 2002.
"It's been suggested YOU leaked the documents." "Do you have any evidence to support that claim?!!" "Um, no." "Phew!" 1 November, 2002.
"You can't have this many delegates going to an overseas conference! Cut the numbers!!!" "BUT THEY'RE ALL ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL!" "Bad news, Mum. You're not going on the next trip." 15 August, 2003.
"This report proves we're becoming a nation of gamblers.!" "That's really bad news. I made a bet with someone that we weren't!" 5 September, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'People are saying the number of people in your cabinet is far too large.' 'Nonsense!' 'When will you be holding your first cabinet meeting?' 'As soon as we find a stadium big enough.' The Dominion Post, 16 August 2002.
"Some members of caucus are talking about dumping our leader!" "And I'd be the natural replacement!" "That's what's stopping them from doing it." 3 April, 2003.
"The PM says you're indecisive. Do you think that's true? You're not sure, are you?" 9 April, 2003.
"The media are demanding to know if you lied to them!" "Ministers do not do that kind of thing! Tell them I'm in a meeting." 31 July, 2003.
"We're not allowed to do anything any more, we've turned into a nanny state!!" "Don't shout. You might damage your vocal cords." 18 January, 2006.
"Could you pass me my gardening gloves? The Minister wants the dirt file on opposition MPs". 17 March, 2006.
"When can we expect to see more police on our streets?" "Soon. Their patrol cars are starting to disintegrate." 15 November, 2005.
"What's your advice to people concerned about the spread of SARS, Minister?" "There's nothing to worry about." 7 April, 2003.
"Do you realise that as we speak, many of the population are living in substandard conditions?" "I take it you don't like summer camping holidays." 26 December, 2005.
"The Minister once offered to pay for me to have a stapling operation." "Stomach?" "Mouth." 15 January, 2003.
"Is your party leader concerned about all this talk of a leadership coup?" "Absolutely not!" "So where is he?" "In his bunker." 4 April, 2003.
"The PM's called your comments merely headline grabbing." "Great! That'll make it an even bigger headline!!!" 12 November, 2002.
"The PM did offer you a platform on which to air your views on immigration!" "A scaffold is not a platform!!!" 15 November, 2002.
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