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"Rig it so it doesn't look suspicious, I said. And what happens? In districts I had no show I win in a landslide, and in my own strongholds it's touch and go..." 3 September 2009

"Rig it so it doesn't look suspicious, I said. And what happens? In districts I had no show I win in a landslide, and in my own strongholds it's touch and go..." 3 September 2009

"Hamid, the G8 leaders are wondering when you are going to pick up the pace of Afghan control?" 1 July 2010

"Hamid, the G8 leaders are wondering when you are going to pick up the pace of Afghan control?" 1 July 2010

"We have no plans to send more troops to Afghanistan... The risk of them being shot in the back by the Australians is just too great..." ARU snubs NZ and votes for Japan's World Cup bid. 24 November, 2005.

"We have no plans to send more troops to Afghanistan... The risk of them being shot in the back by the Australians is just too great..." ARU snubs NZ and votes for Japan's World Cup bid. 24 November, 2005.

In Afghan fields... 5 August 2010

In Afghan fields... 5 August 2010

"The Taliban is calling for a joint Nato, Islamic Conference and UN commission of inquiry into the soaring numbers of civilians being killed in Afghanistan ... Those two? Dont worry ... stoned them to death for adultery." 20 August 2010

"The Taliban is calling for a joint Nato, Islamic Conference and UN commission of inquiry into the soaring numbers of civilians being killed in Afghanistan ... Those two? Dont worry ... stoned them to death for adultery." 20 August 2010

"Headquarters on the line, Willie, you have to wear goggles and a helmet. You're terrifying everyone now. Not just the Taleban..." 28 January 2010

"Headquarters on the line, Willie, you have to wear goggles and a helmet. You're terrifying everyone now. Not just the Taleban..." 28 January 2010

"It is with a heavy heart that my govt sends the SAS back to Afghanistan, but we have an exit plan that we know our great grand children will implement to the letter." 12 August 2009

"It is with a heavy heart that my govt sends the SAS back to Afghanistan, but we have an exit plan that we know our great grand children will implement to the letter." 12 August 2009

"The growing demand for poppies for the graves of non combatants, women and children is seriously eroding the opium trade..." 29 July 2010

"The growing demand for poppies for the graves of non combatants, women and children is seriously eroding the opium trade..." 29 July 2010

Quicksand? Relax. There's no such thing as quicksand in Afghanistan... 24 September 2009

Quicksand? Relax. There's no such thing as quicksand in Afghanistan... 24 September 2009

The new horrors of modern war... "Twelve hour shifts flying a remote controlled drone deciding which wedding feasts in Afghanistan need blowing up and my lower back is killing me..." 4 December 2010

The new horrors of modern war... "Twelve hour shifts flying a remote controlled drone deciding which wedding feasts in Afghanistan need blowing up and my lower back is killing me..." 4 December 2010

"I've come without warning to a fortified location in Kabul to congratulate in person the people of Afghanistan on their new freedoms..." "No sudden movements, Okay?" 6 March, 2006.

"I've come without warning to a fortified location in Kabul to congratulate in person the people of Afghanistan on their new freedoms..." "No sudden movements, Okay?" 6 March, 2006.

Al Qaeda seeking nuclear weapons - News. 14 April 2010

Al Qaeda seeking nuclear weapons - News. 14 April 2010

"I gather from Rolling Stone, General McCrhrystal [sic McCrystal], you weren't enchanted the first time you met me here in the Oval Office..." "Well, Sir, I ah..." "I don't think you're going to enjoy your last visit to this room much either..." 24 June 2010

"I gather from Rolling Stone, General McCrhrystal [sic McCrystal], you weren't enchanted the first time you met me here in the Oval Office..." "Well, Sir, I ah..." "I don't think you're going to enjoy your last visit to this room much either..." 24 June 2010

"Enjoy your secret trip to Afghanistan, sir..." Good luck in Kabul John! "I hope your top secret trip goes well, Mister Key..." "How did they know? Lucky guess?" "I reckon. Right guys?" 5 May 2010

"Enjoy your secret trip to Afghanistan, sir..." Good luck in Kabul John! "I hope your top secret trip goes well, Mister Key..." "How did they know? Lucky guess?" "I reckon. Right guys?" 5 May 2010

"Ladies, don't cut off your nose to spite your face... Let us do it for you..." The Taleban- working for a better yesterday. 11 August 2010

"Ladies, don't cut off your nose to spite your face... Let us do it for you..." The Taleban- working for a better yesterday. 11 August 2010

"This isn't going to be easy, General. I hope I pick the right path..." 23 November 2009

"This isn't going to be easy, General. I hope I pick the right path..." 23 November 2009

"Why are we sending seventy SAS back to Afghanistan. It's ridiculous..." "Wow! Did you know the Taliban came close to seizing Pakistan nukes ..." "Seventy? Will seventy be enough?" "We'll find out in due course..." 14 August 2009

"Why are we sending seventy SAS back to Afghanistan. It's ridiculous..." "Wow! Did you know the Taliban came close to seizing Pakistan nukes ..." "Seventy? Will seventy be enough?" "We'll find out in due course..." 14 August 2009

"I'm hoping to rig the vote..." "I' hoping to disrupt the vote..." "I'm hoping to survive the vote..." 20 August 2009

"I'm hoping to rig the vote..." "I' hoping to disrupt the vote..." "I'm hoping to survive the vote..." 20 August 2009

"We'd love to send the SAS to Afghanistan, but they're currently fully deployed preventing Internal Affairs Minister, Richard Worth from shooting himself..." 21 April 2009

"We'd love to send the SAS to Afghanistan, but they're currently fully deployed preventing Internal Affairs Minister, Richard Worth from shooting himself..." 21 April 2009

"Do you want fries with that, Honky-tonk?" 11 September 2009

"Do you want fries with that, Honky-tonk?" 11 September 2009