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We're introducing a tough new Welfare Policy. It's called 'Work or else!' "Else?" "It's still a bit short on detail." 11 February, 2006.
"I'm sure the Minister won't be making any more gaffes." "How can you be so sure?" "He's run out of feet to put in his mouth." 12 April, 2003.
"There's nothing like a long walk to add to your problems!" "Don't you mean, lessen your problems?" "No. We're lost." 26 December, 2002.
"It'll soon be illegal to use a cell phone while driving. I'll have to get one of those hands-free things. A chauffeur." 7 December, 2002.
"...AND THE SAME TO YOU WITH KNOBS ON!!! I wish someone would invent a cellphone you can slam down!" 25 January, 2002.
"Good news - there's no need to worry about your slip of the tongue... No one was listening to a word you were saying." 28 November, 2005.
"Incompetent!" "That is a charge that I completely and utterly resemble!" 20? June, 2003
Ekers, Paul, 1961-:Spray makes plants flower. 20 April 2006
Winds of change in cabinet reshuffle
"The Minister's very busy at the moment but he might be able to see you for a few minutes......During the drinks break." 11 January, 2003.
Fletcher, David 1952- :'Here's a group of people who WANTS us to make them poor people!!!' 'Who are they?' 'The destitute.' The Dominion, 19 November 2001.
"Here's your script." "Script for what?" "Your off-the-cuff answers." 16 June, 2003.
"I'll probably go to my holiday home at my private beach and do a bit of sailing in my 50 foot yacht. What will you be doing over Christmas?" "Cursing you." 5 December, 2005.
"They're calling you the 'rubber man'." "Because I keep bouncing back?" "Because you'd bend over backwards for any publicity." 20 November, 2002.
"The media are demanding to know if you lied to them!" "Ministers do not do that kind of thing! Tell them I'm in a meeting." 31 July, 2003.
"We're not allowed to do anything any more, we've turned into a nanny state!!" "Don't shout. You might damage your vocal cords." 18 January, 2006.
"Could you pass me my gardening gloves? The Minister wants the dirt file on opposition MPs". 17 March, 2006.
"When can we expect to see more police on our streets?" "Soon. Their patrol cars are starting to disintegrate." 15 November, 2005.
"What's your advice to people concerned about the spread of SARS, Minister?" "There's nothing to worry about." 7 April, 2003.
"Do you realise that as we speak, many of the population are living in substandard conditions?" "I take it you don't like summer camping holidays." 26 December, 2005.
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