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Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The Greens have made the headlines by giving a "state of the planet" address!' 'You could counter with one of your "off the planet" addresses.' Dominion Post, 18 January 2005.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Our proud to be red-blooded males' stance has struck a chord with men everywhere. We should celebrate!' 'Yeah!' 'What sort of things do red-blodded males do?' 'I've no idea.' The Dominion Post, 3 August 2004.
"Stop me if you've heard this. A tea-towel head, a Dago, and damp-eyed Nancy boy go into a bar..." Performing one night only. The Hon Maurice Williamson does 'Les Patterson'. 10 September 2010
Maurice Williamson Min. Land Information. "If you object to foreign ownership of our farms etc. you're 'a racist'!" Beware of complete bullocks. 9 September 2010
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Your speech has caused a great deal of trouble!... You should think before you speak!' 'I did!... You should've seen what I was going to say!' Dominion Post, 26 April 2005.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Congratulations Minister. You've been named communicator of the year!... Would you like to say a few words?' 'No' Dominion Post, 23 June 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The PM wants my speech to the party conference to be "bland".' 'How are you going to raise yourself up to that level?' The Dominion Post, 9 July 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!!!' 'Where's the minister?' 'Washing off the mud.' Dominion Post, 21 October 2004.
"I need a joke for my speech tonight. It mustn't be sexist, racist or offend anyone in any way" "Knock knock" 9 September 2010
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Are you ready to outline your plans to combat the trend toward voyeurism and hidden cameras?' 'Yes, I practiced the speech while I was in the bath last night.' 'Oh, yes. There you are on the TV news.' Dominion Post, 30 June 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Has the PM read my speech?' 'Yes. There are just three parts of the speech she doesn't like...the beginning, the middle and the end.' The Dominion Post, 5 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'That's the very first time one of my speeches has brought tears to the eyes of my audience!' 'Wow! Who were you speaking to?' 'The Onion Growers' Association.' Dominion Post, 13 October 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'There's been a big demand for copies of your speech!' 'Really?' 'I never knew there were so many insomniacs!' Dominion Post, 25 January 2005.
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