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We're introducing a tough new Welfare Policy. It's called 'Work or else!' "Else?" "It's still a bit short on detail." 11 February, 2006.
"A highly embarrassing email written by the Minister has surfaced in the media!" "The Minister's emails are always embarrassing." "It's not his spelling this time." 11 May, 2006.
"I'm sure the Minister won't be making any more gaffes." "How can you be so sure?" "He's run out of feet to put in his mouth." 12 April, 2003.
"I've decided to use 'tough love' on beneficiaries who aren't attempting to find work! But without the 'LOVE' bit" 17 February 2010
"There's nothing like a long walk to add to your problems!" "Don't you mean, lessen your problems?" "No. We're lost." 26 December, 2002.
"Did the Minister act quickly when he heard of the civil defence emergency?" "Yes... In fact he's still hiding under his desk." 3 October 2009
"The Treasury forecast has just arrived by express delivery." "Courier?" "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." 19 December, 2008.
"Do you think your views on law and order could promote some people to take vigilante action?" 22 August, 2005
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'My biggest worry in election year is voter apathy.' 'Who cares?' 'There's nothing we can do about it!' 'Thanks. Now it's candidate apathy I'm worried about!' Dominion Post, 4 April 2005.
"The opposition called the Minister 2-faced!" "They actually said that to his face?" "To both of them" 13 March 2009
"They say you are becoming a lone ranger!" "I'll get my press secretary to put out a press release denying it. Tell Tonto to come and see me would you." 19 October 2010
"It'll soon be illegal to use a cell phone while driving. I'll have to get one of those hands-free things. A chauffeur." 7 December, 2002.
"I've won an award for being the most indecisive politician of the year!" "You can't decide whether or not to accept it, can you?" 27 October, 2003.
"...AND THE SAME TO YOU WITH KNOBS ON!!! I wish someone would invent a cellphone you can slam down!" 25 January, 2002.
"I want the media to stop calling me king maker!" 3 August 2005
"This latest report on global warming has found that most greenhouse gases are produced... By people debating the subject." 29 July 2009
"How's the budget looking?" "Expect the expected!" "I'm expecting the unexpected. Is that what I can expect or were you expecting me to expect something else? I'll come back when you've had time to think about it." 10 May, 2003.
"Good news - there's no need to worry about your slip of the tongue... No one was listening to a word you were saying." 28 November, 2005.
"I had to remove some parts of this environmental report that were critical of the government. But you can release this part to the media." "What is it?" "The cover." 14 February, 2008
"The Minister is having problems with his foot. He's had to go to the hospital." "Don't tell me he's having it removed from his mouth AGAIN!" 6 December, 2007
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