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"No, I'm afraid Helen's at the South Pole. No, those ministers are at the Lahar Dam. No, Jim Anderton has been sent to Iraq. Actually there is no-one here. They're all in Hell spots around the world training for the next Parliamentary session" 19 January 2007

"No, I'm afraid Helen's at the South Pole. No, those ministers are at the Lahar Dam. No, Jim Anderton has been sent to Iraq. Actually there is no-one here. They're all in Hell spots around the world training for the next Parliamentary session" 19 January 2007

"For those who didn't hear me the first time, I was asking how we can shake our image as an aging, accident-prone cabinet..." 13 April, 2006.

"For those who didn't hear me the first time, I was asking how we can shake our image as an aging, accident-prone cabinet..." 13 April, 2006.

"Forsooth, Sir David - I must be the only Queen with one dragonslayer and 47 court fools" 1 March 2008

"Forsooth, Sir David - I must be the only Queen with one dragonslayer and 47 court fools" 1 March 2008

Winds of change in Cabinet reshuffle. 2 November, 2007.

Winds of change in Cabinet reshuffle. 2 November, 2007.

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :News. Clark and Tamihere to make first post-apology public appearance. Otago Daily Times, 8 April 2005.

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :News. Clark and Tamihere to make first post-apology public appearance. Otago Daily Times, 8 April 2005.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'People are saying the number of people in your cabinet is far too large.' 'Nonsense!' 'When will you be holding your first cabinet meeting?' 'As soon as we find a stadium big enough.' The Dominion Post, 16 August 2002.

Fletcher, David, 1952- :'People are saying the number of people in your cabinet is far too large.' 'Nonsense!' 'When will you be holding your first cabinet meeting?' 'As soon as we find a stadium big enough.' The Dominion Post, 16 August 2002.

Evans, Malcolm, 1945- :Prime Minister - opposition parties have all offered to donate kidneys to help Jonah! Really? Yes - yours! New Zealand Herald, 5 June 2003.

Evans, Malcolm, 1945- :Prime Minister - opposition parties have all offered to donate kidneys to help Jonah! Really? Yes - yours! New Zealand Herald, 5 June 2003.

Webb, Murray, 1947- :John Tamihere and Helen Clark [ca 14 April 2005]

Webb, Murray, 1947- :John Tamihere and Helen Clark [ca 14 April 2005]

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :Heh heh that's better! MG business - mercantile gazette, 8 December 2003.

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :Heh heh that's better! MG business - mercantile gazette, 8 December 2003.

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :A few of our litter are still finding the cat-door a challenge. MG business - mercantile gazette, 21 August 2000.

Smith, Ashley W., 1948- :A few of our litter are still finding the cat-door a challenge. MG business - mercantile gazette, 21 August 2000.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'No sheila, not even the PM, tells us red-blooded indigenous kiwi blokes what to say, right John?' 'Oath, Trev, oath...' The Dominion Post, 2 August 2004.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :'No sheila, not even the PM, tells us red-blooded indigenous kiwi blokes what to say, right John?' 'Oath, Trev, oath...' The Dominion Post, 2 August 2004.

"Quick! More sandbags! My toes are getting wet!" 28 February, 2004

"Quick! More sandbags! My toes are getting wet!" 28 February, 2004

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :Good news Trevor! English has agreed to a return bout! Otago Daily Times, 22 February, 2005.

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :Good news Trevor! English has agreed to a return bout! Otago Daily Times, 22 February, 2005.

Webb, Murray, 1947- :Clark-Hobbs. Combine harvester. 9 July, 2002.

Webb, Murray, 1947- :Clark-Hobbs. Combine harvester. 9 July, 2002.

Eruption overdue say scientists. Winston says this! Winston says that! Winston does this! Winston does that! Winson and more Winston! Winston, Winston, Winston... 25 October, 2005.

Eruption overdue say scientists. Winston says this! Winston says that! Winston does this! Winston does that! Winson and more Winston! Winston, Winston, Winston... 25 October, 2005.

Hubbard, Jim, 1949- :Welcome Parekura... The Dominion, 26 July 2000.

Hubbard, Jim, 1949- :Welcome Parekura... The Dominion, 26 July 2000.

Why New Zealand gets few gold medals. "Good work Trevor! That's three... Just another 10,000 and the funding's your's." "Take it easy Michael, I think we're safe for another four years." 28 March, 2006.

Why New Zealand gets few gold medals. "Good work Trevor! That's three... Just another 10,000 and the funding's your's." "Take it easy Michael, I think we're safe for another four years." 28 March, 2006.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :Boy, I'm tempted to yell "Fire!" before Marian gets out of the way... 15 February 2000

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :Boy, I'm tempted to yell "Fire!" before Marian gets out of the way... 15 February 2000

"It's time to clear the dead wood from cabinet and promote the best and brightest from caucus..." 27 September, 2005.

"It's time to clear the dead wood from cabinet and promote the best and brightest from caucus..." 27 September, 2005.

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :"That looks nasty, John...better take a week off." Otago Daily Times, 5 April 2005.

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :"That looks nasty, John...better take a week off." Otago Daily Times, 5 April 2005.