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"Families are the backbone of this country!" "I thought I was." "No, you're the funny bone." 10 January, 2006.
"The PM would like senior ministers to move over gracefully to make way for new talent." "What's the alternative?" "What's that noise?" "It sounds like someone kicking and screaming." 25 October, 2005.
"Here's my vision of the future!" "That's strange... According to the polls you don't have one!" 31 December, 2002.
"The opposition are claiming your role in cabinet is a 'Mickey Mouse' one." "I'll come and straighten them out!" "You might want to take those ears off first." 29 October, 2005.
"This education report says our children lack the basic skills to look up information for themselves." "That's shocking! Who discovered this report?" "One of your six research assistants." 24 December, 2005.
"Here's a letter complaining about the crackdown on identity fraud." "Who's it from?" "Someone claiming to be you." 8 March, 2006.
"It's time we repaid the people who voted for us with tax cuts." "Where will we get the money from?" "From the people who didn't vote for us." 5 January, 2006.
"Keeps away annoying pests." "Does this stuff work on lobbyists?" 27 February, 2006.
"Did the newspaper print that information I leaked to them?" "They didn't mention my name did they?" "It just says 'From an unreliable source." 8 November, 2002.
"I'll only be giving tax cuts to the poor!" "What's your idea of poor?" "People who don't earn enough to pay tax." 23 December, 2002.
"Don't tell me, let me guess! There's going to be a shortage of teachers again this year." "Nope. This year they're calling it a surplus of children." 6 January, 2006.
"Is the Minister doing anything about the city's worsening traffic congestion?" "Yes. He's bought himself a helicopter." 15 October, 2002.
"We want your help in the fight against obesity in children." "What do you want me to do?" "Act as a warning." 20 February, 2006.
"The PM wants you to make more use of the phone in your office." "You'll need to give me instructions." "On how to use the phone?!!!" "On how to find my office." 16 January, 2006.
"This man has been researching violence on TV for the past two years and the effect it has on people. Don't say anything to upset him!" 11 December, 2002.
"*Yawn* I'm not getting my usual amount of sleep at the moment." "Why not?" "The House isn't sitting." 10 January, 2003.
"How many more sleeps until Christmas day?" "Do you want me to include your morning and afternoon naps?" 14 December, 2005.
"Offices have been allocated according to your importance in cabinet." 12 October, 2005.
"A good memory is the politician's armour!" "Who said that?" "I can't remember." 20 December, 2002.
"Why don't we appoint a political correctness eradicator?" "We can't. It wouldn't be politically correct." 28 October, 2005.
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