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"Wow! Must be on after us. I Might stay on for it." "No need, you can watch it from your hospital bed..." 'Fight of the century.' 3 October 2009

"Wow! Must be on after us. I Might stay on for it." "No need, you can watch it from your hospital bed..." 'Fight of the century.' 3 October 2009

"Beckham's down but here comes the first aid!" 25 June, 2004

"Beckham's down but here comes the first aid!" 25 June, 2004

When Prince William tracks down the boy who hit him in the crown jewels with a rugby ball... "What were you expecting? A peerage?" 19 January 2010

When Prince William tracks down the boy who hit him in the crown jewels with a rugby ball... "What were you expecting? A peerage?" 19 January 2010

"Sports injury." "Slouched in an armchair watching the games all weekend has given me a bad back!" 20 March, 2006.

"Sports injury." "Slouched in an armchair watching the games all weekend has given me a bad back!" 20 March, 2006.

"Yeah! He's fit!" 28 January, 2004

"Yeah! He's fit!" 28 January, 2004

"My body can't take it. I'm carrying niggling injuries from last season. The lower back and liver havent mended. I'm mentally stale as well. The rugby season is too long..." "Have you thought of following a less demanding sport, like olympic high diving". 14 February 2009.

"My body can't take it. I'm carrying niggling injuries from last season. The lower back and liver havent mended. I'm mentally stale as well. The rugby season is too long..." "Have you thought of following a less demanding sport, like olympic high diving". 14 February 2009.

"We're going to miss Bondy.." "Sorely.." "You could always rely on him.." "Yep.." "Our income will take a hit.." "I hope we see his like again!" 4 January, 2008

"We're going to miss Bondy.." "Sorely.." "You could always rely on him.." "Yep.." "Our income will take a hit.." "I hope we see his like again!" 4 January, 2008

"Gordon Ramsey?" "No... It's Graham Henry's response to Dan Carter's injury." Expletive repeated! F*@k! 3 February 2009.

"Gordon Ramsey?" "No... It's Graham Henry's response to Dan Carter's injury." Expletive repeated! F*@k! 3 February 2009.

"My favourite! Coast to Coast feet!" 9 February, 2004

"My favourite! Coast to Coast feet!" 9 February, 2004

Spare a thought for the hapless police car to cut costs they removed his radar now he has no direction without speed detection much like the All Blacks without Dan Carter. 15 July 2009

Spare a thought for the hapless police car to cut costs they removed his radar now he has no direction without speed detection much like the All Blacks without Dan Carter. 15 July 2009

"That's Mt Cook over there..." "And that's 'Mount ill-prepared tourist in the wilderness' over there!" 24 January 2009.

"That's Mt Cook over there..." "And that's 'Mount ill-prepared tourist in the wilderness' over there!" 24 January 2009.

Soccer Academy of Acting. "When tackled this time, Fred, I want you to feign a black eye, broken leg, concussion, dislocated shoulder, ruptured spleen and acne." 11 July, 2006.

Soccer Academy of Acting. "When tackled this time, Fred, I want you to feign a black eye, broken leg, concussion, dislocated shoulder, ruptured spleen and acne." 11 July, 2006.

Ritchie's return. Transformer 2. 18 July 2009

Ritchie's return. Transformer 2. 18 July 2009

How the new scrum laws are wrecking the Super 14. "Right, crouch, touch, pause, caress, exchange cell-phone numbers, engage..." 7 April, 2007

How the new scrum laws are wrecking the Super 14. "Right, crouch, touch, pause, caress, exchange cell-phone numbers, engage..." 7 April, 2007

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :"Can't be too careful, they're at their most dangerous when they are wounded..." Dominion Post, 2 July 2005.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :"Can't be too careful, they're at their most dangerous when they are wounded..." Dominion Post, 2 July 2005.

"Please, Lord and Master let us play less rugby so our weary minds and battered bodies can recover..." SKY Revenue. 6 March 2009

"Please, Lord and Master let us play less rugby so our weary minds and battered bodies can recover..." SKY Revenue. 6 March 2009

Hawkey, Allan Charles, 1941- :Rugby injuries. 21 August 2013

Hawkey, Allan Charles, 1941- :Rugby injuries. 21 August 2013

Darroch, Bob, 1940- :"Oooh! Hockey is such a beastly dangerous game! I wish you'd be like your sister and play a more genteel game... like netball" 15 April 2013

Darroch, Bob, 1940- :"Oooh! Hockey is such a beastly dangerous game! I wish you'd be like your sister and play a more genteel game... like netball" 15 April 2013

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :"Mind the achilles Ted". 26 August 2009

Ekers, Paul, 1961- :"Mind the achilles Ted". 26 August 2009

Winter, Mark, 1958- :Stumps. 28 November 2014

Winter, Mark, 1958- :Stumps. 28 November 2014