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SHE DREW IT AT THE KAROUIS. He: " I /tare not seen you with Maudie lately, though you mid she used to be such good friends." She: "Ah, that was before we began to play hockey. She joined the Karon's, you see, and, as I am a Kiwi, of course I had to draw the line somewhere.11 (New Zealand Free Lance, 18 August 1900)
SHE WAS TAKING NO CHANCES. He ffond brother-in-law) : " I see that Mr Lawry\ Dill has passed, and that you can marry your deceased husband's brother now." She (enflai/ing tvidow) : " Oh, Charles, this is so sudden. Really, I never thought But still, if you wish it " (New Zealand Free Lance, 22 September 1900)
A CONTORTIONIST. The Human Knot: The sailor in this booh of Clark Russell's that I'm reading must have been a great contortionist. The Human Pincushion (interested): Is that so ? The Human Knot (projessionally impressed): Yes. It says here before beginning his yam Bill Binnacle carefully lit his pipe and sat doun on his chest. (New Zealand Free Lance, 20 October 1900)
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS. [In our public schools soap may or may not be classed as a foreign product, but it must rank as a necessary in everyday life.—Newspaper item.] Schoolmistress: " Tommy, you haven't washed your face to-'lay." Tommy: " 'Tain't Sunday!" (New Zealand Free Lance, 20 October 1900)
TRYING TO CAPTURE A BURGLAR. Miss Ancient Wantaman (suddenly awaking): 1 reckon you hav> my pocket-book, but there1 a very little money in that compared with what I hare in the bank. Burglar (gruffly): Well there ain't no way to get that. Miss Ancient Wantaman: H'???.' Are you a single man? (New Zealand Free Lance, 20 October 1900)
THE WAY WE LEGISLATE. When welcome sleep hath gained possession of the soul, Then doth the course of Legislation smoothly roll. (Anon.) I may say without fear of contradiction that the N.Z. Parliament is distinguish not only for its decorum, but also for tlie vigilant acumen which it devotes to its work. (Hustiugs speech.) (New Zealand Free Lance, 27 October 1900)