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"The PM wants you to think about petrol saving measures... ...for the public." "PHEW! I thought you were talking about for me personally for a moment there!" 1 May, 2006.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :"I've been put high up on the party list. I won't have to worry about winning my electorate seat!" Dominion Post 1 June 2005
Fletcher, David 1952- : "They've put you way down the party list." ... 12 April 2011
"Caucus thinks I have too much influence over you. You should stop taking my advise." "Does that include that bit of advice?" 14 October, 2005.
"You need to get out there and explain our policies to the voters." 13 September, 2005.
"I've decided there are too many cowboys in the building industry!" "When did you decide that?" "When the new extension to my house fell down." 29 April, 2006.
"When will they stop digging up allegations from my past?" "Good news! These allegations are quite recent." 28 February, 2006.
"I tried to phone up all the school principals to find out how bad their funding crisis really is...They were all out manning coconut shies." 3 November, 2005.
"The media scrum is waiting outside!!!" 4 October, 2005.
"How did the minister react to the news he's under suspicion for irregularities, was he shocked?" "No, relieved. He said, 'Phew! Only suspicion?'" 18 May 2009
"When do I get to see the top-secret report that's going around?" "You're next on the list of trusted people... as soon as the Sunday newspapers have finished with it I'll get it out to you." 17 January, 2006.
"Underperforming ministers have been given the chop in the cabinet reshuffle. They're a threat to the country!" 28 September, 2005.
"Your Press Secretary is angry that she hasn't had a pay rise, while your salary has gone up by 24%!" "That would explain why all my press conferences have been scheduled for 2 o'clock in the morning!" 18 October, 2002.
"The PM doesn't want Ministers commenting on things they know nothing about." "For you that's a vow of silence." 31 December, 2005.
"This report into your department shows a culture of waste, spin and egotism." "Spend as much money as you like on trying to make those facts look good. I'm far too important to be criticised." 29 May, 2006.
"My personal maxim doesn't allow me to apologise for things I don't recall doing!" "What is your maxim?" "If in doubt, deny it." 2 March, 2006.
"We've decided not to name the government mole who's been leaking information to the media. Although it wouldn't surprise me if it got leaked to the press." 16 May, 2006.
"Is the PM still calling for my resignation?" "No. She's now screaming for it." 22 October, 2002.
"Introducing tax breaks for the horse racing industry should create huge benefits......for me next time I go to the races." 14 March, 2006.
"I managed to clear my desk of paperwork before I go on my Xmas break!" "How did you mange that?" "I put it all on your desk." 16 December, 2005.
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