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"A reporter wants to know if the economic recovery is due to good luck rather than good management. Shall I send her in?" "Hide my horseshoe collection first." 1 January, 2003.
"Perhaps you should think about having some 'body tailoring' plastic surgery." "Forget it! I don't do pain...And I certainly don't do expensive pain!" 11 November, 2005.
"Isn't it amazing how the work piles up while you're away!" "It's going to take me at least two trips to carry it over to your desk!" 7 January, 2003.
"It's been suggested we broadcast select committee meetings." "Who suggested that?" "Insomniacs anonymous." 11 November, 2002.
"When will they stop digging up allegations from my past?" "Good news! These allegations are quite recent." 28 February, 2006.
"I tried to phone up all the school principals to find out how bad their funding crisis really is...They were all out manning coconut shies." 3 November, 2005.
"Quick! More sandbags! My toes are getting wet!" 28 February, 2004
"When do I get to see the top-secret report that's going around?" "You're next on the list of trusted people... as soon as the Sunday newspapers have finished with it I'll get it out to you." 17 January, 2006.
"If you want the public to notice you, you must learn to make more noise!" "Welcome to your first tuba lesson." 29 November, 2002.
"We're seen as being on the right when we're a liberal party trying to appeal to the left!" "What about a name change?" "How about the Confused Party?" 13 November, 2002.
"How goes the Minister's meeting with Treasury?" "He said their call for tax cuts was an idealogical burp ......And he sneezed at the idea." 18 November, 2005.
"Which version of this letter do you want sent in reply to the criticism of your indecision?" "Send all three." 4 November, 2002.
"Underperforming ministers have been given the chop in the cabinet reshuffle. They're a threat to the country!" 28 September, 2005.
"Your Press Secretary is angry that she hasn't had a pay rise, while your salary has gone up by 24%!" "That would explain why all my press conferences have been scheduled for 2 o'clock in the morning!" 18 October, 2002.
"The PM doesn't want Ministers commenting on things they know nothing about." "For you that's a vow of silence." 31 December, 2005.
"My personal maxim doesn't allow me to apologise for things I don't recall doing!" "What is your maxim?" "If in doubt, deny it." 2 March, 2006.
"I anticipate next year's budget will be predictably tight and mean." "What makes you think that?" "Because the Minister's calling it the bah humbug budget." 21 December, 2005.
"The public are feeling sorry for you." "Because they know what the opposition's been doing to me?" "They know what the PM's going to do to you." 4 March, 2006.
"The media have been putting words into your mouth again!" "How can you tell?" "The words make sense." 27 October, 2005.
Kate Wilkinson. 13 December, 2008.
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