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Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The opposition are predicting that your Budget is going to be a lolly scramble!' 'Cancel the bulk order of Pick' N' Mix.' Dominion Post, 19 April 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Your speech made people sit up and listen hard.' 'Really?' 'Your microphone wasn't working' Dominion Post, 24 January 2005.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'My Department's doing its best to reduce the holiday road toll and the government's not helping!...You want to give people an extra week of annual leave!' The Dominion Post, 1 December 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Things should be quieter now protestors aren't allowed to use megaphones!' 'Out!!! Out!!! Out!!!' 'They've hired an opera singer.' Dominion Post, 22 April 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The minister wants you to organise a whirlwind electioneering tour of the country.' 'What does he mean by whirlwind?' 'Surrounded by spin.' Dominion Post, 7 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Everyone's accusing me off backing down from the Prime Minister!' "Your supporters don't- they've sent you a present.' 'What is it?' 'A reversing light' Dominion Post, 30 April 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'This is a report on a report about a report!' 'Yes, that's right... You need to write a report on it.' Dominion Post, 12 January 2005.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Well, have you made a decision yet?' Yes I have! I've decided to sit on the fence.' Dominion Post, 12 December 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Have you noticed allegations are like buses... Nothing for ages- then a whole lot come along at once!` Dominion Post, 6 November 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Have you seen these latest poll results?!!!' 'Yes... It's time to do what this party does best!... Panic!' Dominion Post, 17 February 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Government rules say you have to return the iPod that company gave as a gift.' 'Do you have a crowbar on you?... I'll need something to prise it out of my son's hand.' Dominion Post, 28 December 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :Criminals will no longer be able to sell their ill gotten gains to pawnbrokers! Have you seen today's paper? Forty-two pages of garage sales. The Dominion Post, 3 July 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'The remarks you muttered were picked up on a media microphone, minister!' 'I have no recollection of making those remarks!' 'Even he doesn't pay any attention to what he has to say!' Dominion Post, 29 March 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'We could reach the young voter by texting them!... Vote 4 us again.' 'They won't understand that, it's got too many vowels!' Dominion Post, 27 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'What do I have to get through today?' 'It's a pretty heavy load I'm afraid.' 'Four swimming heats, equestrian, weight lifting and rowing.' The Dominion Post, 14 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'My party proposes government by referendum!' 'Is that what the people want?' 'I don't know. I haven't asked them.' The Dominion Post, 29 November, 2003.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I sometimes wonder if people take these preferred Prime Minister polls seriously!' 'You're just saying that because Spongebob Squarepants got more votes than you.' Dominion Post, 28 September 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'You were sitting right next to a media microphone at that select committee meeting.' 'Did it pick up any of my remarks?' 'I don't think so... Just your snoring.' Dominion Post, 27 March 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'You've had a great deal of criticism over these job-creation schemes you've been funding...have they created any jobs?' 'I've had to employ several more spin doctors!' The Dominion Post, 13 August 2004.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'Rising oil prices are not swelling the government's coffers!... Keep spending it as fast as you can.' Dominion Post, 20 October 2004.
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