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"They say you're running the health system like a cake stall." "How DARE they!!!" "Ooh! How much are those muffins?" "50 cents each." 18 July, 2003.
"We want you to front our water safety campaign." "Why me?" "The public are used to seeing you floundering around out of your depth." 22 January, 2003.
"Caucus is willing to overlook my outspoken comments and move me back up the party list. With conditions." "How long do you have to wear the muzzle for?" 10 November, 2005.
"I'm thinking of asking the PM not to consider me for a cabinet position... so I can spend more time with my money." 6 October, 2005.
"The school teachers are here!" "I will not give in to their threats!" "They've brought their classes with them." "Give them whatever they want." 11 April, 2003.
"Did my demand for total unity work?" "Yes. Everyone is now 100% behind the plotters." 10 February, 2006.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I'm taking ART lessons. This is my version of 'THE SCREAM'.' 'Who was the model?' 'Trevor Mallard when he heard we'd lost the World Cup co-hosting rights.' The Dominion, 20 April 2002.
"Here's the new simplified tax system for small businesses." "How much profit did you make?" "Send it." 13 September, 2003.
"MINISTER! Are you taking the threat of biological weapons being used by terrorists seriously? I don't think he can hear us." 17 December, 2002.
"Here's your Christmas present from Santa, or as you like to call him the renumeration authority chairman. 17 December, 2005.
"Another MP was named by the speaker and suspended from the House!" "I hope I don't get named!" "Don't worry, you're here so rarely the Speaker probably can't remember your name." 28 June, 2003.
"Minister, would you be prepared to give me your opinion on chequebook journalism?" "That depends... How much are you offering me?" 28 March, 2006.
Fletcher, David, 1952- :'I always get the difficult portfolios! What am I responsible for this time?' 'You're minister in charge of everything that goes wrong.'Dominion Post, 25 December 2004.
"At last! Someone who appreciates what a great Minister I am. Someone who can spot political genius! They've listed all of my many attributes." "I bet modesty wasn't one of them!" 3 December, 2002.
"Who's paying for this party?" "The tax-payer. But it's not a party - it's a training session! Hold the glass in your right hand, bring it up to your mouth..." 21 March, 2003.
"I didn't mean to say what I said! It was caused by miscommunication." "Between his brain and his mouth!" 5 November, 2002.
"HEY LOOK, you're on page three!" "Of the newspaper?" "Of the latest popularity poll." 18 March, 2003.
"There's a public perception that we're too generous with tax-payers' money." "Organise a series of TV ads to dispel that idea. You'd better make sure the ads are cheap and nasty." August - September, 2001.
"If there is to be a power shortage this year then the PM wants it used where it'll do the most good." "Where's that?" "Shocking the Minister of Energy into action." 26 March, 2003.
"Business confidence is at an all-time low." "Who told you that?" "The guy standing on your window ledge." 24 November, 2005.
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